How many times do we hear these kinds of things? How many articles are written with guide-lines to slimming, shaping and changing the way our bodies look?

While I am all for staying in shape and trying to maintain a healthy balance between enjoying some of life’s luxuries and giving our bodies the very best they deserve, I have days where these kinds of articles just piss me off.

Maybe it’s just because I’m in a no-nonsense mood, or maybe it’s because I can (guiltily) hear that bag of jellytots in my cupboard calling my name, but for what ever reason, today, this kind of article was the last straw. So I decided to write one myself.

5 Tips for Hips – How to Sculpt that Backside and Hip Area into Something Desirable:

pink_shoeBe 17

Sure, we all know that woman who is 46 and still rocking Brazilian-cut bikini’s like she’s a close cousin to Gisele Bundchen without so much as a smidge of misplaced curvature, but for the most part, us women only ever had hips that smooth and narrow when we were teenagers. It URKS me to see these articles with their accompanying photo that is always – ALWAYS – of a 17 year old rear. When will they get real and put up a normal 35 year old bum as the feature image? Then I might take the article a little more seriously. Because lets face it, I never read that crap till I was the 35 year old who thought that I needed the 17 year old ass to be loved. (I’m being facetious of course) Time to put a little more effort into your market research, media, and give us something we can believe.

pink_shoeBe Genetically Pre-disposed to being ‘Skinny’

Perhaps that 46 year old Gisele look-alike spends 12 hours a day in the gym and lives off kale and super-fruit smoothies (the no ice-cream kind) or maybe, most likely, she was just born with it. And that’s ok. We need to remember that all bodies are made differently and all of us have a natural pre-disposition to a certain shape and size. Some of my ‘skinniest’ friends are the ones who look after themselves the worst, spend the least amount of time in the gym, and eat the most amount of crap. It’s not fair, but it is what it is. #TrueStory

pink_shoeDon’t Hit Puberty

Seriously – put it off for as long as possible. I joke that I finally reached puberty when I turned 27, because that was when my body finally woke up to the fact that I was a woman. Before then I was completely devoid of good old T&A, regardless of my diet or lifestyle. Once those puppies grew in, however, they decided to throw a non-stop party bus on my booty, because I steadily went up 3 cup sizes and 3 dress sizes over the next few years. Then it stopped, and I evened out. I realized that THIS is my grown up body. This is what I am meant to look like because when I exercise regularly and eat healthily, this is how I look. I came to terms with that, and am so much happier for it.

pink_shoeONLY Stand in the Dusk with the Light Behind You

Gilbert and Sullivan had it right all those years ago – anyone can look good in the dark. You just have to believe.

pink_shoeChange Your Labels

I still haven’t quite mapped it all out yet, but I know for a fact that at some stores I’m always a size ‘L’ and at others I’m a size ‘S’. There is even that magical kingdom where I am an ‘XS’. If I want to feel better about myself, I know where to shop. Also, if you want to go from a size 14 to an 8 in under 2 weeks it’s as easy as a pair of scissors, a few extra size-tags (choose your desired end-goal), a needle and thread, and viola! We all know jeans never lie.


There we go. I hope my tips for hips have helped you feel better about your reflexion!

Just remember, you are all beautiful.



My apologies to one of my favourite websites ‘Pop Sugar Fitness’ who I stole the pic from and who’s article set me off on this rant – I love you guys! Just needed to vent. Xx